30 Jokes

How do you get 30 drunk Americans out of the pool?

Allahu Akhbarrrr"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you get 30 drunk Russians out of the pool?

Put 30 crates of vodka near the pool

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

Please Get Out The Pool"

What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

How did Helen Keller break her hands?

Reading road signs at 30 MPH

What's the difference between a carpenter and a construction worker?

30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke.

How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart?

7 tees, 30 eggs

Why is the man only left with 30?

Credit to Bo Burnham.

What's a magazine?

asked every guy under 30.

What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist?

30 of them are triggered every second

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 29?

Because 30 is too many!

How do you make 30 senior citizens swear?

Shout "Bingo!" before them

What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera?

A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

You might also enjoy:

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

What did YOU think I'm talking about?

Weirdos!!

Interviewer Jokes More Interviewer Jokes

What do you see as your biggest weakness?

ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What movie was made when Hannibal lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night?

A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car.

Rotate Jokes More Rotate Jokes

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

What's the difference between a cello and a violin?

A: A cello burns longer.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea?

He went home and drowned in his tea pee.

Max Jokes More Max Jokes

What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets?

Max

What does Max have now?

Diabetes.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

How does a poor man watch TV?

with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.