What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

Why is Jesus terrible at hockey?

He keeps getting pinned to the boards.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy?

Because they had good high jeans

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

USB

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home?

Because he knew his parents will make him return it.

What do you call parents who teach abstinence only?

Grandma and grandpa.

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

Please Get Out The Pool"

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Nerd Jokes More Nerd Jokes

What do you call a nerd after highschool?

Boss

What's the definition of a nerd?

A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

What other miracles can you do?

Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish ' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.