Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives?

Purrgatory.

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What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints?

an im-paw-ster.

Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

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Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

Where do cats write down notes?

A: Scratch Paper!

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What do you call a Mexican that lives on a hill?

Slopz

Where do the stinky penguins live?

Antfartica