Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

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Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Why does the German dad scare all the other kids?

Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.

Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist?

Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero.

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

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What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Why were there no black people in the Flintstones?

Because they were still considered monkeys.

Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic?

Brooklyn

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?

They're able to make a fun-gal cream.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

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Midlife Crisis Jokes More Midlife Crisis Jokes

Why was the four year old boy from Sierra Leone crying?

He was having a midlife crisis

Why was the 1 year old Ethiopian boy crying?

He was having a midlife crisis.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

How do you sink an Irish submarine?

A: Knock on the hatch.

What do you call an Irish J-Pop singer?

Rady O'Gaga

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in . P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

Chicken Coup Jokes More Chicken Coup Jokes

Why does a chicken coup have two doors?

If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?

Because if they had four doors they'd be called chicken sedans.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love?

Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

Why do Jamaican chickens make fun of all the other chickens?

Because they're jerks.