Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Why does the German dad scare all the other kids?

Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.

Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist?

Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero.

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Why were there no black people in the Flintstones?

Because they were still considered monkeys.

Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic?

Brooklyn

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?

They're able to make a fun-gal cream.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

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Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

2 Door Jokes More 2 Door Jokes

Why do chicken coups only have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.

Why do chicken coops have only 2 doors?

If they had 4, it would be a chicken sedan!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink."

What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do the racehorse that finished in second and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?

You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"

Camp Jokes More Camp Jokes

Where do the Greek X-men sleep when camping?

Mu-tents

Who left these bodies here?

Get them back inside the camp!"

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

How did the raisin have fun at the movies?

It took a date....

Why are seals such homebodies?

Because clubbing isn't any fun.

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with a shovel?

Doug

What do you call a guy with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows