Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up

What on Earth happened?

The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What is a primate's ideal salary?

A gorillian dollars per year.

What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year?

Pure Heroine by Lorde.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What are you going to be for Halloween dad?

me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad

Why can't witches get pregnant?

Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?

On a bun-eymoon!

June Jokes More June Jokes

How do you stop a dog from barking in July?

Shoot him in June.

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.