Wedding Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

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How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?

On a bun-eymoon!

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why people cry during the weddings?

they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?

On their bunnymoon.

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Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

Why do Eskimos have wide noses?

Because they pick their nose with their gloves on.

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet.

Alabama Jokes More Alabama Jokes

What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common?

They were both fingered by their brother.

How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?

A sheep.

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Baa-Dum-Sss

Engagement Ring Jokes More Engagement Ring Jokes

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Hearse Jokes More Hearse Jokes

What do you call a repair shop that specializes in hearses?

A rehearsal.

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ?

What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ? Cake Moss and Naomi Candles

When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite?

The Cheetahs!