Wedding Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

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How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?

On a bun-eymoon!

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why people cry during the weddings?

they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?

On their bunnymoon.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people from rio does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian. Saw this joke elsewhere and thought i'd share it here.

Why do people never see an Apple store getting robbed?

It doesn't have windows.

Cena Jokes More Cena Jokes

What did Mr. Cena's fiancee say on their wedding day?

No, John! *You* can't see *me!*

What did Mr. Cena's fiance say on their wedding day?

No, John! can't see

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Tldr Jokes More Tldr Jokes

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR"

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?

A last name.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What is the name of an Irish girl who hangs out on your lawn?

Patti O'Furniture

How can you identify an Irish pirate?

A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What is Madonna's least favourite band?

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly

Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

What do LotR and Brokeback Mountain have in common?

Someone's ring gets broken.