Wedding Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

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How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?

On a bun-eymoon!

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why people cry during the weddings?

they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Where do rabbits go after their wedding?

On their bunnymoon.

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Tldr Jokes More Tldr Jokes

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR"

Ring Bearer Jokes More Ring Bearer Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?

edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT

Long Hard Thing Jokes More Long Hard Thing Jokes

What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night?

A last name

What's the longest, hardest thing in a Republican's life?

Middle school.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What's the difference between a princess and a witch?

2 years of marriage.

What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

Delay Jokes More Delay Jokes

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport?

he was on a watch list...

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the little boy use his inhaler?

No wheezin'"

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for a Christmas present?

Gloves.... Just kidding he hasn't got into it yet.

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."