Glove Jokes

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

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What did the mittens say on their wedding day?

I glove you.

Why do Eskimos have wide noses?

Because they pick their nose with their gloves on.

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet.

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

How do your pants fit?

The man responded, "Like a glove".

What's red and green and wears boxing gloves?

A fruit punch.

What did the handless box get for hristmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

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How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

Why do hitman always wear gloves?

because theyre always wacking guys off....

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

What did the boy with no hands get for a Christmas present?

Gloves.... Just kidding he hasn't got into it yet.

What present did the kid with no hands get?

Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

How do you think his pants fit him?

Like a glove.

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?

A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."

What did Michael get for his birthday?

Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

What did the finger say to the thumb?

A: I'm in glove with you.

What did the child with no arms get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

When is a fairy NOT a fairy?

When its down your pants then its a goblin!

What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants?

YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!"

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

What's in 65 days?

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing?

Because they've got the same color trunks.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit 10 Amish in a VW Beetle?

A:Tell them you are going to the livestock auction

Whats the hardest thing about microwaving vegtables?

fitting the wheelchair in the microwave.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

How many zeroes does your salary have?

He responds "One" "In which currency " "Any :("

What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Why doesn't an old man ever go down on his old wife?

Ever opened a grilled-cheese sandwich?

Paramedic Jokes More Paramedic Jokes

What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out?

A paramedics.

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

Eskimos Jokes More Eskimos Jokes

What did Jesus say to the Eskimos?

Many are cold, but few are frozen.

Where do Eskimos train their dogs ?

In the mush room !