What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How do you know when Santa's in the room?

You can sense his presents.

Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas?

He was knotty.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What's the difference between a black person and Christmas lights?

Nothing. They both look good hanging from trees.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Who do you think I am?

Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears

What kind of music do sponges listen to?

Raggaeneration.

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

What did the child with no arms get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.