How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb.

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden?

He wanted to raise some hard cash.

What do you call someone who raises the dead by giving them hickeys?

A Neckromancer

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

Why can't Democrats sell pants?

They believe in a single-pair system.