Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden?

He wanted to raise some hard cash.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

What do ISIS want for Christmas?

Turkey, apparently.

Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

Why is the retirement center nicknamed "the garden"?

Because it is full of vegetables.

What do you call an epileptic frolicking in a garden?

Seizure salad.

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How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

A: None. The democrats do that.

Why did the cultists adopt a dead child?

They wanted to raise the dead.