Baseball Jokes

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same?

They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes.

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.

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Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

When they get to third base they think they've scored

What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball?

The bottom of the fifth

Why cant bulimics be pitchers in baseball?

Because they always throw up

Why don't matches play baseball?

A: One strike, and they're out.

What animal is best at hitting a baseball?

A bat!

What do you get when you cross a baseball with a turkey?

A fowl ball!

Why don't orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to

Why are orphans terrible at baseball?

They've never known what home is.

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!

Why are orphans unable to play baseball?

They've never known what home is.

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball?

A double!

What Do You Call Adrian Peterson Playing Baseball?

A switch hitter.

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

What's the difference between a firstborn prince and a baseball?

A baseball is thrown to the air.

What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't run home

What do a baseball and a Mexican have in common?

The harder you hit it the more English you get

Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

What is Batman's favorite sport?

Baseball.

What do you get when you combine Soccer and Baseball?

Golbat.

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

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Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison?

Treeson.

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

Angel Jokes More Angel Jokes

Whoa- is that Elvis?

Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

Why did the angel lose her job?

She had harp failure.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

What should be done in case of apparent drowning?

Take the parent out of the water

Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?

I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

Motivational Speaker Jokes More Motivational Speaker Jokes

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct?

You conduit!

What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player?

The baseball player has all of its limbs.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the Harlem shake?

Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

Cain Jokes More Cain Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.