How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What happens if you see twin witches?

You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.

How do I tell them apart?

Her brother has a moustache.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the closed can say to the half opened can?

YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY!

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?

Open the door. Put in the elephant. Close the door.

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible?

When Jesus cleared the temple.

What's the best fantasy book?

A bible

Shrek Jokes More Shrek Jokes

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why did I stop reading M.C Escher books on the bus?

Because I always get weird stairs

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

a surprisingly stable person according to my Homie O'Statis.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

A: According to the Gooey Decimal System.