Shrek Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend?

Because...bros before hose!

What's the most intense part of your work out?

Me: Getting into my sports bra.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the kittens turn atheist?

Coz their eyes opened.

What did the closed can say to the half opened can?

YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY!

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?

Because 7 ate(8) 9!

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

Chess Jokes More Chess Jokes

Why arent the americans playing chess?

they are missing two towers.

What did the Australian say when he won a game of chess?

Cheers, mate.

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

What do you call a gaming double entendre?

A Ninutendo

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What do you get when you put human DNA into a donkey?

North West.

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.