Shrek Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the only thing working out at the gym?

The business plan.

What do you call a bunch of potheads working together?

A joint effort!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

What broke?

opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why is Yoda afraid of 7?

Because 9, 7 8.

Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?

Because 7 8 9

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

How is snow white?

Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs

How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?

Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.

Danke Jokes More Danke Jokes

What does a Greek say when he receives his salary?

Danke schon.

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!"

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

What's the difference between a psychotic mental patient and a man with a bible in his hand?

Respiridol

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

Why did the little boy drop his icecream?

Because he got hit by a car