Shrek Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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Who is Shrek's favorite basketball player?

Shrekquille O'Neal I'm sorry

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

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Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What game do tornadoes like to play?

Twister

What do kings call musical chairs?

A game of thrones.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator?

Because there might be an Italian dressing.

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".

What does Snoop Dogg do when he forgets to put on oven mitts?

He drops it like it's hot.

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey?

Darth Mule! A joke, from third grade me... Happy Star Wars day!

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What do you call a rotten lamb chop?

Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad.

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a racist joke without getting in trouble?

Write it down.

How can you tell someone is vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

Don Jokes More Don Jokes

What do you call a knight with a morning star?

Don

What is Shrek's favorite book?

Don-key xote