How do you tell a racist joke without getting in trouble?

Write it down.

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What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ?

A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names !! "

What food can tell you if a girl is pregnant?

Chickpea

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Why do North Korean officials are always seen holding a notebook and a pen when they're near Kim Jong Un?

They're writing their last will and testament.

What's yellow and writes?

A ball point banana!

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What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Why do women have trouble peeing in the morning?

You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich

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What are your best racist jokes?

I find racist jokes to be the funniest! Share your best racist jokes here, but please stay respectful ;)

How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes?

For me, it's about three fifths.