Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What is "attempted theft" exactly?

I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

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What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?

Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.

Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall?

So he could see her crack....

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What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

What did the boy buy at the grocery store?

Too Bad, I'm not telling you!

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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

What does Ray Charles' fictious girlfriend and this joke have in common?

They're both gold-diggers

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What is the question?

Does Wagner begin with a "V"

When does feminism end?

When Islam begins.

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What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

What does a Polish guy do on the ice?

He breaks in.

Conversation Jokes More Conversation Jokes

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What do you call a conversation about weed?

A diskushion.