Gospel Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

What do you call a group of black people?

Antique farm equipment.

What do tall people and black people have in common?

They have no one to look up to.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a panda who's legs don't work?

Pandapalegic

What do you call a fish with two knees?

A two-knee fish! (works better when you're drunk)

Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

What is the difference between a tire and a black man?

The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it.

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

Bible Jokes More Bible Jokes

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

How do you tell the difference between an X and Y chromosome?

You pull down its genes.

Seoul Jokes More Seoul Jokes

What's the difference between South Korean BBQ and American BBQ?

South Korean BBQ has more Seoul

Why don't north Koreans listen to funk?

Cos they've got no Seoul! Thank you very much.

Shade Jokes More Shade Jokes

What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?

Cell shading.

Why is the Champs-lyses lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.