Gospel Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

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Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did the number zero say to the number eight?

Nice belt."

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What old-time song is the burgers' favourite?

Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!

What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz?

Elephants Gerald

Shade Jokes More Shade Jokes

What's the deal with lampshades?

If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it.

Why are the streets in Paris lined with trees?

So the German soldiers can march in shade.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?

Because the top said "Twist to open."

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was the first reference to pole vaulting in the Bible?

When Jesus cleared the temple.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?

Me! That hurts!"

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Why are there no black people at the North Pole?

Because there is nothing to steal there

Why do white people think they can say the N word?

Because it is the only thing left that still belongs to black people.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What do you call the game that centres around weak leadership?

Reddit.

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!

Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire!

What does a tire made of potatoes have?

An inner tuber.