What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

Why do successful lettuce farmers always get women?

Because everyone knows they give good *head*.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What present did the kid with no hands get?

Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids?

A real hootenanny!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple

What does the kid with no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the closed can say to the half opened can?

YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY!

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie."

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".