What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What do somolian pirates use as weapons?

Arrrrpg's

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

Why'd you shave it off?

Me: I just told you...

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand?

A community centre

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

Shear Jokes More Shear Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

Foreplay