Why'd you shave it off?

Me: I just told you...

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

What do you call a policewoman who hasn't shaved for a week?

Constable

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.