Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

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Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

Why did the man take a pencil to bed ?

To draw the curtains !

What does a mathematician do about constipation?

Sits down and works it out with a pencil.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the best part about showering with an eight year old girl?

Slicking her hair back and making her look like a six year old boy.

What do elephants say as a compliment ?

You look elephantastic !

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

Grade Jokes More Grade Jokes

What grades did Fidel Castro get at school?

Full Marx

Why did Tupac go to the gym?

To get a sixpac! (Thank you 7th grade me)

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*