Pencil Jokes

What does a pencil have in common with marijuana?

If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt.

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What did the constipated mathematician do?

He worked it out with a pencil.

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?

When there's a tampon behind her ear and she's looking for her pencil.

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Whats the Difference between a Third-Wave Feminist and a Pencil?

The pencil has a point

What do pencils, poop and Golden State Warriors have in common?

They are all #2s.

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out

How do mathematicians solve constipation?

They just work it out with a pencil!

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

What does a mathematician do when they have constipation....?

They work it out with a pencil!

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What did one pencil say to the other?

2B or not 2B?

What does a math teacher do when he has hemorrhoids?

He works them out with a pencil.

Why can't Nietzsche use pencils?

Because they're all pointless

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What does a mathematician do about constipation?

Sits down and works it out with a pencil.

What does the math teacher do when he gets constipated?

Works it out with a pencil.

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

How do mathematicians deal with constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What does a Math Professor do when he's constipated?

He works it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil?

One's a fruit, you idiot.

How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem?

She worked it out with a pencil.

What does a mathematics professor do when he is constipated?

He works it out with a pencil.

What do mathematicians do when they are constipated?

They get a pencil and work it out.

What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level?

A: Pencil-in.

Why did the man take a pencil to bed ?

To draw the curtains !

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

Where do pens and pencils go on vacation?

Pennsylvania

What's the smelliest type of pencil?

A #2 pencil

Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

What did the pencil say?

Nevermind, it's pointless.

Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?

because they cant find the point.

What kind of stretches does a pencil do?

Ticondeyoga

Where do pencils go for vacation?

Pencil-vania.

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems?

The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper.

What's the difference between feminists and a pencil?

A pencil has a point.

What did one Pencil say to the other ?

Your looking Sharp!

Why do math teachers never get constipated?

Because they always work problems out with a pencil.

What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated?

Work it out with a pencil

What did the Pencile say to the other pencil?

what did the pencile say to the other pencil the answer is........... Your Looking Sharp :)

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

Where does Dracula buy his pencils?

Pennsylvania.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

Why does Mr. Pencil hate Mr. Pen so much?

Because he is an erascist.

What do you call someone who hates pencils?

Erracist

What do you call two pencils fighting?

A grafight.

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

What the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

The pencil has a point

How does an accountant relieve his constipation?

He works it out with a pencil

What's the similarity between communism and a pencil?

They both only really work on paper

Why was the pencil in the toilet?

It was a No. 2.

Why don't pencils and graph paper get along?

Because they're made out of graphite

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What do you call a smart knife?

Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better.

What did one Pencil say to the other ?

Your looking Sharp!

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where does a pirate go on vacation?

Arrrrrland.

Where does Santa go on vacation?

North Pole-land

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do you call black men working while white men watch?

Slav-The NBA

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin

Break Pencil Jokes More Break Pencil Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? A broken pencil. A broken pencil who?

Never mind. It's pointless.

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

It's pointless just like this post

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What's black &amp grey and also looks good on a cop?

The World Trade Center

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

How did Chuck Norris solve the dwindling oil reserves problem?

Ctrl - C, Ctrl - V

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.