Marijuana Jokes

What does a pencil have in common with marijuana?

If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?

Buy high sell higher.

Why did the cow return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Where is the best place in town to buy marijuana?

High Street, of course.

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

What do you call a guy with two marijuanas?

Double jointed.

Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.

What does Michigan State football and Marijuana have in common?

They are both green and get smoked in bowls!

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

What happens when you give a cow marijuana?

The "steaks" get higher

What do you call money that grows on trees?

Marijuana

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's more illegal than marijuana?

My Mexican neighbor

Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy?

Blunt Trauma

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?

He Shanghai.

Why did the cattle leave the marijuana field?

Because the steaks were too high!

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

What did the middle eastern man say to his marijuana enthusiast wife?

Stoner!

What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

moo-dicinal

Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

What do you get when you administer marijuana to cows?

High steaks! (I'll just see my way out...)

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Why do Italians wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

What's the difference between a tuna a piano and a pot of glue..?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna What about the pot of glue reddit will ask. Hahahahaha I knew you'd get stuck there

What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of pot?

What's that noise?

Marijuana Addict Jokes More Marijuana Addict Jokes

Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.

What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

Field Jokes More Field Jokes

What do you call a field used to grow bows and arrows?

An archerd.

What do you call a farmer who's excellent at what he does?

Outstanding in his field

Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?

The SALT talks!

Marijuana Field Jokes More Marijuana Field Jokes

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

Why did the cow return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.