How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?

When there's a tampon behind her ear and she's looking for her pencil.

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How do mathematicians solve constipation?

They just work it out with a pencil!

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

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What is it good for?

Some people say "nothing", but my stock portfolio's looking promising.

What do you call it when you are looking for your Subaru Forrester in a parking garage?

Finding Forrester