What does a mathematics professor do when he is constipated?

He works it out with a pencil.

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How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem?

She worked it out with a pencil.

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

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How do you say constipated in german?

Farhfrumpoopin'.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...