Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

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Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

Why can't Nietzsche use pencils?

Because they're all pointless

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon

End Jokes More End Jokes

What department do you not want to end up at in a corporation run by cannibals?

Human Resources.

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

Rubber Jokes More Rubber Jokes

What do you get if you encase Beyonce in rubber and drop her off a cliff?

Bouncy Beyonce.

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.