Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

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Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

What did one Pencil say to the other ?

Your looking Sharp!

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse?

A brothel sprout

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Rubber Jokes More Rubber Jokes

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

What do you get if you encase Beyonce in rubber and drop her off a cliff?

Bouncy Beyonce.