Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?

A dope ring.

What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you?

A polite bulb.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What does a Pirate say when he turns 80?

Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.

Why did the kittens turn atheist?

Coz their eyes opened.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A: A camera that takes pictures of itself.

What do you call it when an oyster takes a picture of itself?

A shell-fie

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What about the other baby?

Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere

What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?

A mist conception.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Why do little dogs shake so much?

They have Barkinson's

Ted Cruz Jokes More Ted Cruz Jokes

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ?

It saves so much time.

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common?

Neither can achieve an election