Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ?

It saves so much time.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

Why are churches never broke?

Because Jesus saves.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people from Laos like to swim?

In Laotian.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Ted Cruz Jokes More Ted Cruz Jokes

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs