Shear Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

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What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

Foreplay

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Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?

and

What did the pedophiliac rabbi say to the young boy?

Hey there little boy, you wanna BUY some candy?

Foreplay Jokes More Foreplay Jokes

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

Divide Jokes More Divide Jokes

Why was 7 arrested for homicide?

Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect

Why did the amoeba flunk the math test?

Because it multiplied by dividing.

Welsh Jokes More Welsh Jokes

What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

Foreplay

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

What's a junkie's favorite videogame?

Need for Speed.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do the Irish wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff?

So it would push back.

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....