Shear Jokes

What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

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What's the Welsh word for shearing a sheep?

Foreplay

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Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?

A sheep that can round itself up !

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't use a pitchfork on the bowling balls.

What did the stupid ghost do?

He used to climb over walls.

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree?

Suh Dude

What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What does your girlfriend and my garage have in common?

I pull out of both of them.

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

Divide Jokes More Divide Jokes

Why did the amoeba flunk the math test?

Because it multiplied by dividing.

Why can a number divided by zero never be found in the dictionary?

Because it's undefined.

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

Cheez It!

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why can't Micheal Bay be a farmer?

Because he dosen't have a plot.

What's the best part about marrying a farmer?

You get to grow old together.