Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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What do people who don't like the slippery slope argument call it?

The slippery slope fallacy

What game do little cows like to play?

Moonopoly.

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Why should you only invite gas molecules to your house when they have negligible intermolecular forces between them?

Because they're the ideal gas.

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

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How do astronauts make a party?

They planet.

How does NASA plan a party..?

They planet.

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What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

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Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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What do you call a company that makes Mexicans?

A MexiCo.

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.