Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Party Jokes More Party Jokes

How does a solar system have a party?

How does a solar system have a party? They planet

What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

How Many Bit Coins Does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

Why did the Cell Tower Cafe get bad reviews?

Because the service was horrible.

Why do people tip cows?

Their service isn't even that good.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?

It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.

Tb Jokes More Tb Jokes

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

culosis.

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why was the welder such a gossip?

Because he liked to meddle.

Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

Cause Allies don't like axis powers

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common?

There used to be exactly two, and now it's too offensive to talk about.