Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery?

Bread and Bakedfast!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Change it to what

Why do you always see beggars at protests?

They're always looking for some sort of change!

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

Plug Jokes More Plug Jokes

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.

How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

Founder Jokes More Founder Jokes

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)