Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a bottle of seltzer that lost all its bubbles?

Water...

What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes?

A screwdriver

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Because he was a fungi

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Tb Jokes More Tb Jokes

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

Armed Force Jokes More Armed Force Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How much money do terrible movies make?

Ridley Scott. Thank you.

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

Sir Jokes More Sir Jokes

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What did the guy with bad internet get?

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

How do you know when a woman is pregnant?

She switches from Ragu to Prego.

Why did Kesha switch "$" back to an "s"?

Because she no longer has a dollar to her name.