Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What app do you use to browse Reddit on your phone?

9gag

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

Who's the chief of the internet?

E-ronimo!

Sir Jokes More Sir Jokes

How much for the selfie stick?

Him: Sir, that's an Olsen twin. Me: I'll take it.

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan

Whores does it take to change a light bulb?

If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

Why is North Korea so depressing?

Because it ain't got no Seoul.

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

How many femenists does it really take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter how many femenists try, they can't change anything. Alternatively, they just hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

How do you know you're always about to have fun in the company of an octopus?

Because it's always ten-to-cool time...