What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

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Why did the Arabic man ask for her hand in marriage?

Because she stole his heart

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

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Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

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What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

TB

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

culosis.

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What questioned started the Holocaust?

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?