How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you speak such good English?

I dunno 200 years of colonialism and eurocentric education, how do you know so little history "

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Where do criminal spiders hang out?

The deep web

What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?

I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

How long has your car been doing that?

Me: Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights.

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

Comcast Jokes More Comcast Jokes

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

TB