How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's black and hanging from a tree in my backyard right now?

A black berry.

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did the phone get away with its crime?

Because it had good connections!

How do you call a cow with no legs?

You don't, because cows don't have phones.

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

Comcast Jokes More Comcast Jokes

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

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Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."