Meth Head Jokes

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

You might also enjoy:

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

Why did little Jimmy break open his computer?

It said that it had 20 cookies in it.

How do you confuse Pareto?

Tell him you belong to "the" 20%.

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

What do Robin Williams and Joan Rivers want for Christmas?

A. Betty White.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand?

A trillionaire.

What do you call a tornado holding a spork?

The Mersenne Twister.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner?

Cellfcentered

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if it is a Salvador Dali painting?

One of the clouds in the background is blowing another one.

How do you know if someone is not a vegan?

They don't tell you

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb?

Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke.

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!