Meth Head Jokes

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

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How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

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How awesome were the 50s?

None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals.

What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted. :3

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

Weeker Jokes More Weeker Jokes

What do you call a drug addict who has been awake for 14 days straight?

A "two-weeker"

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

Comcast Jokes More Comcast Jokes

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why were you asleep at the wheel?

Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks?

A Roman Catholic.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver?

The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

What are you doing on your phone?

Bugs Bunny replies, "Eh, Whatsapp Doc."