What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

When should funerals occur?

Mourning

Why was Steve Jobbs funeral an open casket?

So the attendees could get some face-time.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...