Delay Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game?

They needed to give their characters an eye-patch.

Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport?

he was on a watch list...

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

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Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

Which fish go to heaven when they die ?

Angelfish !

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

Why was the pilot jealous of the chef?

Because of his ground thyme.

Why did the pilot hit the Alps?

To get to the other side.

Development Jokes More Development Jokes

Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?

A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development?

Polaroid Integral Film and Babies

U2 Jokes More U2 Jokes

Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?

Bonos.

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?

A bull pull!

What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?

A cattle battle!

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Why ya going to the airport?

Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?" : "How'd you guess?" : "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?" : "Aspen." : "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."

What did the DJ say to the jazz musician?

Take me to the airport.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

How does the Asian chef get to work?

He woks.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

What do you call lying furniture?

Untrustable