Flight Jokes

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a flight commandeered by pirates?

A peg leg.

What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending condescending

What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs?

An apology.

What's the difference between a cloths hanger and a flight of stairs?

The cloths hanger only solves one problem.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw silverware down a flight of stairs....ting, tong, ping, ding

How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?

None. He "fell".

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs?

Be sharp or Be flat.

Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash?

There were Poles on the right half of the plane.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

How did the Somali terrorist describe his flight?

It was dynamite!"

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

What do you call in-flight pilot training?

Air conditioning.

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

How much does a flight to Rio cost?

A Brazilian dollars.

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

You might also enjoy:

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why can't America play chess?

They are missing 2 towers

What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole?

Fore-play

Luggage Jokes More Luggage Jokes

Why don't turkey vultures ever lose their luggage?

They only ...

Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.

Yo Jokes More Yo Jokes

What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

How do yo get to Sesame Street?

Unzip my pants and ask big bird

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A computer only has to have information punched into it once.

What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wales?

One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

Vulture Jokes More Vulture Jokes

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.

Apology Jokes More Apology Jokes

What did the sun god say in apology for all he had done wrong?

I Apollogize".

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

Airline Jokes More Airline Jokes

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

Why the largest state in US has their own Airlines?

Alaska

Snowden Jokes More Snowden Jokes

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.