Victim Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

What does Dracula say to his victims?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

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What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

Where did he get his clothes?

That's right - a victim

Who's the victim?

Battlefield: Call of Duty

What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk?

You're gonna be pooped after this.

What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims?

DYE, DYE , DYEEEEEEE!

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What's the difference between a school of children and a terrorist camp?

I don't know, I just fly the drone Edit/apology: My friend said this to me, I thought I should share with you all, he said that I could post it here. 5 minutes later he told me he found it on reddit.... I'm sorry all.

What did the Elephant say while scolding her children?

Tusk Tusk I am so sorry

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What is Bill Cosby's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Ten Roofies.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

She wanted to wash up on shore

Ninjas Jokes More Ninjas Jokes

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?

Numchucks.

What do Japanese emperors and rappers have in common?

They're both wondering where their ninjas are at.

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich?

Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar.

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

911 Victim Jokes More 911 Victim Jokes

Why are 9/11 victims the best readers?

They can go through 94 stories in seconds!

Who were the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.

Twig Jokes More Twig Jokes

Why couldn't the beaver cook his twigs?

He only had Non-Stick pans.

What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror?

A narcissistick.

18 Jokes More 18 Jokes

What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A: A baseball team

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"