Victim Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

What does Dracula say to his victims?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

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What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

Where did he get his clothes?

That's right - a victim

Who's the victim?

Battlefield: Call of Duty

What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk?

You're gonna be pooped after this.

What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims?

DYE, DYE , DYEEEEEEE!

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

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Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What is Jesus' favorite workout?

Pontius Pilates

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

Ash Jokes More Ash Jokes

What did Ash tell his Pokemon?

Pokemon Go!

What did Ash say when Pikachu went missing?

Where did my Pokemon Go "

Crispin Jokes More Crispin Jokes

Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ?

Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

18 Jokes More 18 Jokes

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

How long is one minute?

It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

What's the difference between a mixologist and a bartender?

About ten minutes.

87 Story Jokes More 87 Story Jokes

Why were 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

Who are the fastest readers of all time?

9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 15 seconds

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Why don't girls count to two?

Because they "can't even."