Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

How do you get a man in a coma hard?

Lick his Comatoes

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Atrophy Jokes More Atrophy Jokes

What do you get when you win the laziest man in the world contest?

Atrophy.

What did the winner of the not moving contest get?

Atrophy

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

Why did the rancher get out of the hemp-fed beef market?

The steaks were too high.

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

What kind of ant can count?

An account*ant*.

Friendship Jokes More Friendship Jokes

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.

Whatcha makin'?

God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making Satan: A bong.

Involve Jokes More Involve Jokes

Why are Italians so good at football?

Because it involves changing sides halfway through.

Why aren't people afraid to submit reposts?

Because there's no karma involved.

Chameleon Jokes More Chameleon Jokes

What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors?

Ereptile dysfunction

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ?

A chameleon on a tartan rug !

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What did the cannibal who was late to the dinner party get?

The left-ovaries.

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.