U2 Jokes

Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones

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Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

Why don't U2's lawyers ever make any money?

All their work is pro Bono.

What do you call it when the lead singer of U2 fights with himself?

Bono-y-Bono

Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?

Bonos.

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.

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Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do you call a dress that refuses to learn?

Clothes-minded.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Edge Jokes More Edge Jokes

Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff?

So it would push back.

What happens when your scrotum touches the edge of the toilet bowl?

Ebowla.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many dislexic mods does it take to screw a lightbulb ?

Remodve

How many people from Quebec does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One: He holds the bulb and the rest of Canada revolves around him.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What professional hates going to the bar?

A lawyer

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How are your English lessons coming along?

Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

How's she getting on?

I replied, "I'm not sure, I think they use a crane."

Team Jokes More Team Jokes

What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl?

He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed.

Why did the coach prohibit the blonde from giving any bj's to the team?

The guys complained about the blow-dryer being too hot ...

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why didn't the feminist shave her arm pits?

Just kidding, just wanted to rile a few people up. But if you want to have a punchline contest, feel free.

What do you call a grocery store for people with dementia?

Question Mart.

Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

Why did Microsoft jump from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

Because Windows 7, 8 9.....

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.