U2 Jokes

Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones

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Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

Why don't U2's lawyers ever make any money?

All their work is pro Bono.

What do you call it when the lead singer of U2 fights with himself?

Bono-y-Bono

Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?

Bonos.

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.

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World Jokes More World Jokes

Why did the worlds shortest feminist burn down a post shop?

Because the mail was always above her.

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.

Football Game Jokes More Football Game Jokes

Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?

Bonos.

What did the cow wear to the football game?

A Jersey.

Member Jokes More Member Jokes

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

Which Star Trek character is a member of the magic circle?

Jean-Luc Pickacard

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark?

Professional courtesy.

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many bees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but how do they get in there

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

How many Frenchman does it take to defend France?

I don't know. They've never tried.

How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.