Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?

Bonos.

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What's better than winning the wheel chair basketball championship?

Having legs...

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

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Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

Why don't U2's lawyers ever make any money?

All their work is pro Bono.

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Why are softball games so hard to follow?

Because everyone secretly plays for the other team.

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The guys complained about the blow-dryer being too hot ...

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What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?

Bonos.