What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

because Happy Hour ended.

How's my driving?

sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where do most black people work?

In jail

How does a mathematician get to work?

He derives!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

Who are you & what are you doing in my house?

Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How did they break in?

Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike