What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple?

One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

Why don't Barbie and Ken have kids?

Ken came in a different box.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's similar between communists and communism?

Neither work.

Why are asprins white?

Because they work.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why didn't the potter get a job?

He didn't *urn* his degree.

Why did the doctor lose his job?

He lost his patience

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Why did the train go left?

Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it.