What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

What's the difference between a sandwich and a germanwings plane?

When the sandwich drops I'm sad.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?

Shady's back*

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do hard-working grocery store clerks get every year?

A celery increase.

Why do you want to work here?

ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.