Dj Jokes

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the DJ have such small hands?

Wee paws for station identification.

What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?

DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.

What did the DJ say to the jazz musician?

Take me to the airport.

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

How do know if the person that you have just met is a DJ?

They will tell you.

What do you call an online encyclopedia for DJs?

A wiki-wiki-wi-wi-wi-kipedia

What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

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Turnip Jokes More Turnip Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

lettuce turnip the beet

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets!

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?

A: Her batteries were dead.

How much do used batteries cost?

Nothing, they are free of charge.

11 Jokes More 11 Jokes

Why didn't the blond call 911?

She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

What do you call 5 black guys and a white guy?

A basketball team. What do you call 9 black guys and a white guy? A baseball team. What do you call 11 black guys and a white guy? A football team. What do you call 100 black guys and a white guy? A cell block

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

How can you tell a cow isn't listening to you?

Everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder!

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it.

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Why was the man allergic to Christmas?

Because it's the reason for the sneason.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?

Answer: Because he kept giving half of what he owes.