Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Brand Jokes More Brand Jokes

What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

What brand of underwear do zombies wear?

Haaaaaannnnnneeeeeessssss

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

Logic Jokes More Logic Jokes

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

What's a Christians worst enemy?

Logic.