When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine?

He doesn't like to be left hanging.

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz?

You shall not gas!"

How does a Muslim shut a door?

Islams it.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.