Truth Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why don't gypsies use condoms ?

They have crystal balls so they see it coming.

Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?

They ain't private ears. (I don't care if a six year old came to this first thirty years ago, it just came to me.)

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What are the three types of men?

A: The handsome the caring and the majority.

What do you call a road that doesn't care about anyone?

A psycho-path.

Logic Jokes More Logic Jokes

What do you call a fear of chainsaws?

Logic.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

Why do they run the credits at the beginning of Game of Thrones?

Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end.

What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.

Oj Simpson Jokes More Oj Simpson Jokes

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

Everyone has the same DNA.

What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Stephen King?

OJ's truth is stranger than King's fiction.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

Fax Jokes More Fax Jokes

What do you call a truthful piece of paper?

Fax.

How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde?

When there's a stamp on it.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

What's the difference between Reddit and Facebook?

About a day