Tourist Jokes

Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?

They prevented hispanic attacks

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Why the tourists feel so happy driving by Taj Mahal?

Because they're going via Agra!

What do you call a smart guy in US?

A tourist.

What do you call a good looking girl in Wisconsin?

A Tourist!

What do you call a smart person in America?

A tourist.

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest, intelligent, and law-abiding?

A tourist.

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

What's the difference between terrorists and tourists?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

Why do tourists always take pictures in Paris?

Because the tower is an Eiffel.

What do you call a woman in the living room?

A tourist.

What do you call a beautiful girl in Boston?

A tourist.

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What do you call hot women in France?

Tourists

How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

What do you call a hot girl in Germany ?

Tourist

What do you call an intelligent man in America?

A tourist.

What do West Virginians call a pretty woman?

A tourist.

What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?

A tourist.

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Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What was 2016?

The best joke I've ever heard!

Why are elephants wiser than chickens ?

Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant !

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

He died on the cross!

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What bring a dead duck back to life?

A dead bullfrog.

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

Chinese Tourist Jokes More Chinese Tourist Jokes

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.

Why did the Crimean run across the Street?

Because he was Russian

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end