Why are men afraid of the world?

They spend 9 months trying to get out of a woman and the rest of their life trying to get back in.

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World Jokes More World Jokes

How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...

What are the most common 3 words used all around the world?

Made in China.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How can you tell if a man is happy?

A. Who cares

How many men does it take to wallpaper a feminists house?

Only one, but you have to slice him REALLY thin!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

What do you call a woman who does not have all her toes on one foot?

Normal

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How many lawyer jokes are there?

3, and the rest are true stories.

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

9 Month Jokes More 9 Month Jokes

What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months?

A school application.

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.