Club Jokes

What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

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What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers?

You weed out the rest

Why couldn't the Mod get into the club?

He never got banned.

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Why are seals such homebodies?

Because clubbing isn't any fun.

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.

What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?

They both get clubbed by Norwegians...

What happened when the Eskimo teens went clubbing?

They got new fur coats.

What do animal poachers do in their spare time?

They go clubbing.

What did the DJ order from the deli?

A club sandwich with extra beets.

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What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club?

Black lights matter.

What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

How are you baby?

I am in bed and thinking about you ... And you my dear - I am at a club ... And sitting right behind you!!

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Bad at golf?

Join the club.

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Who's there ! Bridget ! Bridget who ?

Bridget the end of the world !

What word starts with F and ends in uck?

Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.

Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

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Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Urine Jokes More Urine Jokes

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.

What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What do you do for a frog with a belly ache?

Rubbit.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving

Toad Jokes More Toad Jokes

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

When is a car like a frog ?

When it's becing toad !

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What did the brick say to the rock?

Nothing, it's just a brick, what's wrong with you.

How does a barnacle like its martinis?

On the rocks.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles?

A Biceptual