Club Jokes

What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

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What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers?

You weed out the rest

Why couldn't the Mod get into the club?

He never got banned.

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Why are seals such homebodies?

Because clubbing isn't any fun.

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.

What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?

They both get clubbed by Norwegians...

What happened when the Eskimo teens went clubbing?

They got new fur coats.

What do animal poachers do in their spare time?

They go clubbing.

What did the DJ order from the deli?

A club sandwich with extra beets.

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What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club?

Black lights matter.

What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

How are you baby?

I am in bed and thinking about you ... And you my dear - I am at a club ... And sitting right behind you!!

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Bad at golf?

Join the club.

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Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

Club Sandwich Jokes More Club Sandwich Jokes

What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread?

A clubbed sandwich

What's a caveman's favorite lunchtime meal?

A club sandwich.

Tow Jokes More Tow Jokes

What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.

Why did Nobelium's car got towed away?

He parked at a parking!

Toad Jokes More Toad Jokes

What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ?

A croaksman !

What do toads and choads have in common?

They both taste a bit swampy

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?

Because it was marble cake!

What was the geologists' favorite Musical genere?

rock

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What can be surmised from this?

A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.

Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?

A frog in a blender !

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster?

He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours.

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.