Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

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How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

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What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

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What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity